Each day, you learn to do or say something new and it simultaneously breaks and melts my heart. It breaks my heart because each new thing you learn how to do is one step farther away you are from being the little baby boy that before I even had kids, I knew I wanted more than anything in my entire life. It also melts my heart because you're so proud to show me what you can do or say. Despite the typical age-appropriate bad moods or break downs that come with growing up, the personality you have and person you are becoming is a genuinely caring, sweet, and protective of those he loves kind of man. Each new thing you do further proves that's who you are becoming. We signed you up for soccer class with your friends Rhys and Logan, and its amazing to see you focus on something and learn these new skills all on your own. AVCDS also has the music class that you go to, and each Thursday you come home and tell me, "Mommy I played music!" and I melt a little. Okay a lot. I know that you're 3 and I already have you signed up for 2 classes, I hope that I don't become one of those moms that over schedules her kids, so if you don't want to do something that you get signed up for (aside from school - that's mandatory), let me know and we can talk about what the best path is for you. My fear is that if we push you too much into too many things, you'll write them off before getting to see what they're all about and miss something that you would otherwise really enjoy or really be something that takes you on a path that makes you into the best, happiest person that you're capable of being. The realist side of me is thinking to myself, 'you know that this is all in a perfect world that it works out like this right? reality doesn't usually make it that simple'. And I know that, but a girl can dream...
Watching you with Lili as she follows close behind you in age, and seeing you teach her things already has resulted in her being pretty darn smart and capable for her age which is a double edged sword for many reasons, too many to dive into now. You've convinced her to be a dragon for Halloween, gave a hard sell for a few weeks and she's decided that a dragon she will be. See? You're already influencing her decision making. Keep in mind how influential you are to her, especially as you both grow up and are exposed to choices that have permanent consequences, good and bad. We recently went to Wesley's birthday party and I think for the first time you were so independent and didn't really want or need us around all that much unless it was to get in and out of the moon-bounce. You were running around playing with your buddies (and Lili) and all I could do was just watch you. Again - the melting and breaking of my mom heart. Just so you know, the breaking part of my heart is not meant to be a bad thing towards you, its a selfish thing. Its knowing that it was never possible for you to be my little baby forever, nor would I really even want that for you because it would mean you'd miss out on growing up and becoming the man that I know will make your father and I beam with pride. It's more about loving the moment we're in, and not wanting it to pass all too quickly (which it feels like).
Hopefully this year I will be able to log some more posts on here. I know I've been remiss in putting posts up this past year. You and Lili have required a lot more hands attention as to be expected and I've been too busy having a blast with you two. We recently had a Mommy/Sam day this past Friday because you had a dentists appointment and you didn't want to go to school afterwards, I didn't really want to make you, so since it was Friday we had a day to ourselves. Let me tell you about that appointment for a minute, because you need to know this about your smooth talking self. At the end of the appointment you're supposed to get one balloon. ONE. You however, sweet talked your way into THREE. I think what the sweetest part was, was that you didn't want you to just have one. You got Lili a yellow balloon, and daddy a pink balloon (the ladies in the office had a chuckle about that). We did have to stop by school to pick up your stuff from the week, and to say hi to the firefighters that were doing a presentation at your school. Since we arrived just after the tours, the firefighters were so nice they gave you your own private tour, and let you drive the big yellow fire truck and walk through it all by ourselves. It was really cool. I like having days just us, and I hope you do too. I promise we'll always have our Mommy/Sam days to do what we want, hang out, and make each other laugh. I love you baby boy -
