On permission or forgiveness....

There's a saying that goes, "it's better to ask forgiveness than beg permission".

Often people will use this to justify what they want to do when they are well aware of the high potential for negative fallout or consequences and most likely, and rather sadly trying to romanticize their actions like they're part of some resistance against this oppressive force keeping them from what they deserve.  Keep an eye on the people who say that. Unless they're talking about the government or some work related hierarchical problem, they're usually looking to justify taking hurting someone else for something they're unwilling to risk talking with someone and maybe not be able to do whatever it was that they wanted to do. Under this auspice, they're putting the ultimate wrong doing on the other person by giving the implication that they're this unreasonable person who won't let people do whatever they want to do, as if this other person had actively signed up for this authoritative position and knew that's what their job title was. It helps delay any feelings of guilt for the person who holds that credo. Maybe they'll feel bad later if they have too. If. Perhaps it assuages their guilt to look at themselves through this lens or puts their desires on some falsely moral righteous pulpit, or just looking for someone to give the permission that they're too chicken shit to ask for from the person that counts.
           I'm telling you about this because if someone says that to you, like about someone or something else, you have to accept that it's possible given a circumstance that they'll say that about you. You'll one day be the "harsh authoritarian" they're mentally trying to justify hurting because they just want to do this one thing and whatever it is is worth hurting you. And in the context of a committed intimate relationship / marriage, nothing is worth hurting you. That is how I am teaching you to think. That is the minimum standard I want you to expect from yourself and your chosen partner. To me, that's the whole freaking point. Why be in a partnership or marriage with someone if it's all fair game and aside from what administratively ties you together, how you treat each other is the same as you'd treat the next person you know, why bother with all of the hard work that marriage is? If nothing is sacred to you both, if there's nothing making you a team aside from literal forcing functions like property co-ownership or things like that - it will be a rough and somewhat lonely road. And that is the last thing that I want for you, to be lonely.  If your definitions and terms for being married are different than what I would want for you, that's okay and I'll support what you want in life as long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else.  Be honest about who you are and what you want. This won't prevent you from breaking hearts or getting yours broken, but it should provide you with a part of your moral compass as you go through life. I love you baby boy.

On how fast you're growing up....and would you please stop.

Easier said than done, I know - but good lord you are growing up so fast.  You're at the stage where your sense of self and control over your environment is growing by the hour and from what I can surmise right now - the term "laid back" is likely to never apply to you.  It's exhausting as a parent, but for you, it will serve you well assuming that you learn the skills to pick what battles to actively fight and which battles are best fought out by themselves with no interaction or energy spent from you.  Many people don't master this in their entire lifetime.  I still haven't, but I think I'm getting better at it. I have no doubt that if we raise you well, you'll have a fighting chance of figuring it out before the rest of us do - I love you.