On looking forward....

After giving myself some time to digest being 30, I re-read my previous post and I think I'm somewhat ready to discuss future goals for the coming decade.  I am forming these goals with the full knowledge that these next few years with you and Lili so young are probably going to be the hardest of my life so far.  No one has given me any false impressions of it being easy, manageable, not-insanity-inducing, etc.  Good thing I haven't spent my entire previous life just skating by so easily.  It's probably always helped that I've had a master plan of some kind.  So here it goes:

For the next decade:
1.) After getting my LPC, start free lancing on the side whether its with writing, seeing clients, teaching, whatever.  Expand my professional horizons basically is what I think the long term stated goal is here.
2.) Make sure Sam and Lili are being challenged to the best of their expressed and clear abilities (ie: if you like art, I want you to engage in art.  If you're very clearly brilliant with math and numbers, I want you in a higher level math class, stuff like that)
3.) Re-start the doctorate
4.) Forget about the rear view mirror approach to life that dominated the last decade.  Its a good idea to glance every once in a while but no one ever got to where they were going by using the rear view mirror.  More on this in a later post.
5.) Make sure I am doing everything I can possibly do to have the most positive relationship with your dad.  I'm a firm believer that the positivity of the relationship between one's parents has endless benefits for the kids.  You should get to set your expectations on what you want in a relationship of your own.  You get to see what you should tolerate, shouldn't tolerate, would tolerate, and wouldn't tolerate.  Watching your parents talk to each other is how you first learn how to talk to people that you care about.  For better or worse, its your first modeling of behavior that you'll take with you.  I want to be a good example for my kids about this.
6.)  Find a sense of calm that will help me through the very crazy years that are about to come.  Not sure if that involves constant yoga, running, therapy, whatever. 
7.) Define some limits for shit-taking.  This past decade was capped off with some pretty weird stuff.  And I think having some clear limits for what I would/will tolerate and what I wont/cant tolerate would have been helpful here.  Granted I was caught pretty off guard not thinking I'd have to have such contingency plans, but maybe something more general would help.  Even just a general procedure for how to deal with such f-up-ery in the future should be helpful.  I used to be very clear on stuff like this when I was younger, and I let go of that too much in my attempts to be adaptable to life's curveballs.  I think this might be the decade of compromise where I accept that I will need to adapt to things, but I'll adapt to them on my own terms and not take shit from anyone about it. 


Good starting list.  As with all decade long plans, these things are subject to change and whatnot.  But the general message is to stop letting the past dictate the present and future, develop professionally, try and remain calm, and get back to the mindset of life being beautiful that I had a long long time ago and appreciate all of the great things that are in my life despite the madness that comes along with it.