First, let me explain a few things.....

Sam,
       Before I get into all the things that I feel the need to mention to you before you enter this world and as you grow up in it, I should probably explain a few things. 

1.) I love your father.   He has this amazing ability to drive me insane like no other human being on this planet.  The feeling is mutual I'm sure. What concerns me is how much we are alike.

2.) My full time job (before you get here, of course) is as a mental health counselor.  Those muffled conversations you are hearing between clients and I are quite odd, I will agree with you there.  There will be another post on this later about how opinions I give to my clients are NOT going to be opinions I give to you as your mom. 

3.) You were planned, but a surprise.  Given your father's exceptional penchant for running late, it seems that you accumulated all of that time and came about 2 years early.  We had talked about having kids, both wanted them, around the same number 2-3, etc.  If you want a crash course about medication interactions and contraindications, let me know. 

4.) You are not a cat.  While we have 5 of them, it was really rather unintentional.  However your dad and I are suckers when it comes to animals in need and things just sort of played out that way.  Likely another post on this later as I feel that there's further explanation needed.

5.) I was so freaking excited to find out that you were a boy.  Some of that is because Im petrified of having a girl for various reasons.  But another reason is because I get to name you after a great man - my dad and your grandfather (and great grandfather, and great-great grandfather for that matter).  He is probably the hardest working SOB I know and if you turn out to have half of his work ethic - you're going to be just fine in life.  He's a quiet man, but I think thats from living with my mom, myself, and my sister for many many years.  You can gain much more knowledge from listening than you can talking.  Remember that.

6.) You've got a various heritage courtesy of your father and I that is bound to leave you quite confused at times.  Ancestrally, he's Italian.  I however, am Polish, Greek, and a mix from the UK.  His family hails from Philadelphia, PA, and mine from New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.  Louisiana is a great state that you will ultimately become quite familiar with as its a second home for me. 

7.) The terms, "aunt" and "uncle" apply to siblings of your father and I, but also to lifelong friends that are as close to us as siblings.  Your dad is concerned this might be confusing to you, however I think you'll pick up on it pretty quick and Im sure if you have any questions you can just ask.  I think it'd be a great problem to have, so many people around you that love you and your parents enough that they get confused with siblings.  That's awesome.  Who cares if you're not sure who's genetically linked or not.  You have people who love you and that's one of life's greatest gifts.

8.) The world is a confusing place.  The things people do don't tend to make much sense.  Don't get wrapped up in things or people that you can't change - but don't walk around thinking that you can't make some sort of difference either.  Not to get all "serenity prayer" on you - but there are battles to pick and battles to watch.  True intelligence will guide you to proper identification of each.

9.) If you don't laugh every day, you're wasting your damn time.

10.) I'm new at this, just like you.  You promise to do your best, I'll promise to do mine.  I'll keep you as informed as I am of things and hopefully as you grow into being a teenager you'll try some semblance of the same.  There's never going to be anything that happens that you can't tell me, your dad, maybe Aunt Mel or Uncle Jeff, or Aunt Emily and Uncle Kurt.  Especially those last two.  They'll likely help you get away with anything.  Although I probably shouldn't be telling you that.....